Wasted Days, Wasted Time

I'm someone who wants to understand. For some time I've been trying to figure out what people don't like about church. I know why I lost interest as a young adult. But what about those who are now empty nester's and unchurched. Is it church itself, the people who make up church, or God?

Unchurched adults are defined as those who have not attended church services, other than perhaps for a holiday or special occasion such as a wedding or funeral, at any time in the past six months. A Barna survey reported that unchurched adults have risen from 21 percent in 1991 to 34 percent in 2004. The adult population in the United States during that same period rose about 15 percent. And the number of adults who do not attend church has nearly doubled, rising from 39 million to 75 million.

What's the reason? I know several people who simply find church a waste of time. And most people understand that time lost is time gone. Wasted money can be made back. Wasted food can be replaced. But waste time and it's gone for good.

God stirs the hearts of people. They feel a yearning, often for something they can't identify. In trying to satisfy that desire they delve into a variety of experiences.

I want to know what it would take to make exploring God part of that process. What would it take to make God worth someone's time.

Are we home yet?

Four months ago today we left Ohio. Soon after arriving in Payson we made the decision to live here. Actually Wes wanted to live here and I agreed to give it a try. Now I'm thinking this is actually where God wants us!

Settling in hasn't been easy. We decided to rent since we're in this "give it a try" phase and we have a nice 3 bedroom / 2 bath home. Pretty much meets our needs. Wes has been working since June 25 and I started to work the first of July. Finding this part-time job went a long way toward my choice to give Payson a try.

Searching for a church became one of our highest priorities. We have been to several, some more than once and one church six times. It's not happening. And you can about guess where that leaves me - lost and wondering and simply feeling like a fish out of water. I'm just not settled without a church home and none on the horizon.

This is a real challenge. Not having a church home is simply not an option. Being part of church where God is not calling us doesn't work. How many times have I said, "I'm not a church planter."?

As one friend put it, either we will be leaving Payson or we will start a new work. Which do you think we'll do?

Payson, AZ

We left Ohio for Arizona on June 15. Our intention was to live in the Valley - at least mine was. Somehow in the process of getting here and staying with friends in Payson - we now live in Payson! And it seems as if it will be okay. Maybe even a good thing. We found a house to rent and are going about the process of getting settled. Wes started his job a week after we arrived and I started to work too, in July. My part-time position is the Family Advocate for the Gila Family Advocacy Center here in Payson. A new agency, my job entails assisting victims with their rights and through the legal process.

With the rest of my time my desire is to start a small group for people wanting to know and become like Jesus. I can run but I cannot hide - the "call" is still there. I don't know quite how to go about this or how it will turn out but I'm am looking forward to it.

I'm Back!

It's been a while and much has happened since my last post. Stay tuned for details!

Thanks to the Many

Wes had his surgery Monday and all is going well. Dr. Selman said we will get on with our lives and soon "have this behind us and the pain will be forgotten!" Yeah!

We couldn't have made it through without all of our friends and family praying for us -- I came across the following in my reading last week:

"...we were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Thanks to the many of you for your prayers!

The Waiting Room

April 25, 2005
The day Wes was diagnosed with bladder cancer. First you think - well, you don't know what to think.

When we made plans in the past it has been with the attitude of "if this is God's will". One of Wes' favorite passages of scripture is Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

Waiting is the hardest part. Waiting for the results of a biopsy. Waiting for the doctor's recommendation. Waiting for the day of surgery. Waiting to see how well you recover. Waiting to stop thinking about it at least every minute of every day.

The outlook is good. Surgery is scheduled - the tumor will be removed - he will have future monitoring but it is realistic that this will take care of it. Of course, to know that we have to wait.

Reinvent Myself

A few days ago I had a rude awakening...I stepped on the scale at the health club. Bad. Worse than ever - and I've been on a string of worse than ever for about a year. All of which makes me say 'enough' - but will this time be different? Will I say 'enough' and mean it long enough to make a difference. And what is it anyway that causes me not to do what I intend to do?

The Apostle Paul puts it this way: "When I want to do good, evil is right there with me..." Romans 7:21

I was talking with a friend last night about this self-sabotage thing -- I even came up with a book idea -- "Self Sabatage- How to Screw Up a Good Thing Today & Every Day!" -- thing is most of us already know how to do that! What I want is to stop it.

Thus -- the need to reinvent myself. And when I get that figured out, I'll let you know.

It's official - We're Moving to Arizona!

We're going back! I know many of you are saying "you never should have left in the first place" - and you may be right! But we operate on the premise that no one knowingly makes a bad decision and coming to Ohio for 7 months and 8 days (and counting) was by no means a mistake! We have been closer to our families and friends that we missed so much and are counting on them to travel west where we will be enjoying sunshine and dry weather.

It all came about because nothing seemed to be coming together for us in Ohio. (I know..."that's because you never should have left" as Auntie Linda is so fond of saying). Our job searches came to naught and Wes has been in the process of starting another law practice. His heart just isn't in it and we no sooner decided we would expand our search area when he reconnected with his friend Tom -- someone he worked with early in his career.

Long story short -- Wes and Tom will be working together for the same company once again. Wes is excited to have a new challenge with a young growing company that he can add value to while benefitting himself. Backbone Communication (www.backbonecommunications.com) is a leader in educational software implementing solutions for Kindergarten through 12th Grade students including skills development, enrichment, remediation, Special Education, English Language Learners, and more.

I'm thrilled at the prospect of living in the greater Phoenix area with a population of nearly 4million! That should provide the variety and options that I'm always looking for. We'll know more soon....meanwhile, praise God with us for providing just what we need when we need it!

Havasupai Falls

It's never too soon to plan a trip, particularly one that involves hiking at least 16 miles in two days. Which means, it's time to start training. Wes and I would like to hike the Falls and do it with some of our friends! We know that all of you are at varying levels of fitness, hence, the advance notice. How does April 2008 sound? If you want to join us - let me know. You can find out more about Havasupai Falls at a variety of websites such as www.havasupaitribe.com, www.havasufalls.net, www.arizonahandbook.com/havasupai.htm

Check out the sites, let me know you're available AND START TRAINING - we don't want to do this alone!

Intentions

It gets away from me - blogging, that is. I seem to have ideas of what I want to write about, mulling them over in my mind and then --not writing.
That is the problem with intentions, they either get done or don't. And the outcome is no secret.

'24' - What's all this with Chloe and Morris?

I've just caught up on a couple of '24' episodes and I'm wondering where all this is going with Chloe and Morris. Personally, I think she and Jack are going to end up together this season....did you notice a couple of episodes ago when Chloe told Jack, "I'm glad you weren't hurt today."? Jack gently reached out and touched her arm. Subtle, I know, but a forecast of where things might go?

I hope all the emphasis on Morris' drinking and Chloe's covering for him leads somewhere...it's getting old. And how does she get any work done? She has her eye on Morris constantly, runs to his workspace every few minutes to ask how he's doing, to fix something he hasn't done correctly...who gets to work like that?

Personally, I'd like to see more Jack action and less Chloe and Morris. But that's just me.

'24' - And you thought you were having a bad day!

It's been a while since I've blogged about '24' - the tension filled blockbuster featuring Jack Bauer fighting the war on terror. It's not that Jack isn't a team player - the team keeps getting killed.
I kind of feel sorry for Jack.
He cut off family ties years ago and then when re-united finds they were at the root of some of his darkest times. Plots to kill presidents, Jack's 18 month disappearance, 2 years in a Chinese prison, a partnership with terrorists to set off nukes, and his father's threats to kill his own grandson...it could any family.
Well maybe not any family but most families have something that causes wounds. And like Jack, we sometimes live in denial for a while and when confronted with truth....yikes!! And if we could talk to Jack about his family we would likely find disappointment and a deep yearning to connect - a need to fill that void inside.
Maybe that explains Jack's risky lifestyle -- a need for a hero.

Smiles Happen

Thanks to my gigglebox friend Aimme, smiles happen! (See January 5th posting)

Last week Aimee knew I was struggling, fighting discouragement and anxiety and fear. She was on it! Knowing some of the things I am most passionate about Aimee sent a "smiles happen" coffee mug, coffee and treats! Nothing says love like coffee!

Week One - My Heart

Fasting is never easy for me. I tend to think once I get past the first day or so I'll be okay. But no - I keep wanting to bend the rules. Next thing you know moose tracks ice cream will be health food from heaven!

I am finding that even though I am not "perfect", when I am sincere about seeking God -- he knows my heart. My purpose for this fast is to know God more and hear his voice above the rest. I think it's happening! I no longer feel so wishy-washy about what I am doing. By that I mean I was all over the place in trying to "solve" my problems. Wes said I was approaching them "willy-nilly" -- trying anything and everything I could imagine just to be doing something!
God is giving me peace and now I am able to watch him work instead of trying hard to work myself. Kind of cool if you ask me. Want the details?? Stay tuned...they will be here eventually!

The First Day

Today is the official start of Lent and the official start of our fast. Having relocated several months ago things just haven't come together as we hoped. We seek God and follow as best we know how. Every now and then along this particular journey we have wondered if we're on the right track. Thus an agreement between Wes and I to fast and pray so we hear from God. For some people that probably sounds kind of weird - don't you just analyze a situation, decide what you want and then go for it? Yeah, sort of. But our analysis is never complete until we hear God's side of the story. And sometimes, even though we don't see the full picture we wait on what we think we want because of God's plan.

Our choice of fast is to eliminate all junk food, most processed food and animal products. This is our version of a "Daniel Fast" - you can read about in the Old Testament in Daniel Chapter 1.

Spiritual fasting is a time set aside to abstain from certain foods or activities to focus on God's presence in our lives. Sometimes I think of it as saying to God "I want to hear from you - I need you -- and I'm willing to go without some things I find particularly comfortable to focus on that."

And right now we want to hear God's voice above all the rest -- including our own. I'll keep you posted on our progress - both the fast and the hearing from God.

What Will You Give Up?

Regardless of your faith it is pretty hard to miss Ash Wednesday - the official start of Lent. As a child and young adult I struggled to understand the point of not eating meat on Fridays and giving up chocolate. My "thing" with chocolate goes way back. Until recently I would say I still did not get Lent. To me, being told when to fast, what to sacrifice, and even what to "give up" suggests that my mind and body can participate but my heart does not have to engage. If that's the case, it would seem the point is missed.

Ash Wednesday got its name from an ancient tradition of throwing ashes on one's head to demonstrate sorrow for sins. Lent has been on the chuch calendar since the first or second century and by the 7th century, Ash Wednesday became the "start date" for Lent.

Jesus spent time in contemplation and time on the mountain in prayer. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us "there is a time for everything"; the Apostle Paul was in a hurry to reach Jerusalem before Pentecost (Acts 20:16); these and other passages seem to indicate the early Christians observed certain sacred periods. Maybe there's something to that.

Here's what I think - just because the ritual from my youth held no lasting meaning for me does not mean Lent is not worthy of observance. While the Bible does not offer Lenten menus, it does say, "Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:13)

I can get on board with that -- no matter what I'm eating.

"My wheelchair is a blessing"

Sometimes I am embarrassed. I think I have it tough. We don't have a new church home; Wes' law practice is starting slowly and we need income; I don't have a job; when will we really feel connected in Toledo; were really supposed to come "home"?...then I look at people who have real problems.

I've been reading Joni Eareckson Tada's book - "The God I Love" - which should be on your short list of books to read this year - and I am embarrassed. She has a severed spinal column. She has been living in a wheelchair since she was 18. She can say with honesty that her accident and her life in a wheelchair has been the greatest blessing in her life. It brought her closer to God, it has taken her into a life of ministry that is international in scope. She brings awareness and help and hope to the plight of those who are disabled. She glories God.

My problems are real and they are a challenge. But they are temporary! We will find work and have income and find a church home and be involved in ministry again. My challenge now can be what draws me closer to God or away from him. My challenges reveal my purpose -- to know and love Jesus. I can trust God in spite of my problems, because of my problems, or simply because He is trustworthy. Either way I can commit to knowing and loving him more in the challenges I face.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 8:35-39

The Flu

About the Flu

Help protect yourself and your family from the flu by knowing the facts:

• The flu is a contagious virus that is spread from one person to another through tiny droplets that are released into the air when a person infected with the flu coughs or sneezes.
• Sometimes, people can become infected by touching their nose or mouth after touching something infected by the flu virus.
• Most healthy adults can infect others one day before they begin experiencing and up to five days after they become sick. That means you can pass on the flu to someone else before you know you are sick, as well as while you are sick.
• A typical case of the flu can last up to one week.
• The flu can be a serious illness, particularly for mature populations aged 50 and older, and those with chronic illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, and asthma.

Now I Lay Me Down to Rest

No longer will I laugh at flu shots. Bring 'em on! I just spent 8 out of the last 12 days on the couch with a revolving docket of symptoms - fever, chills, cough, sore throat, cough, headache, cough, achy body...what a nightmare! Someone suggested it would be nice for me to have some down time so I could rest...read...whatever. Like I didn't already have that 24 hours a day.

Thing is, it was what I needed. I had a different sort of rest - I think God used my couch time as a sort of "rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength." (Psalm 23:2-3)

Those of you who know me know that I haven't worked for several months. If nothing else, I have time. Time to read and think and reflect and do projects and sort of just hang around. And I've done all of that. But this time on the couch...it was different. I didn't just read and reflect. I talked to God. I listened. I had questions to ask and tough answers to listen to and ultimately it led to peace.

Because in recent weeks I haven't felt much peace. We felt God lead us out of Kingman, AZ last summer and we wanted to come "home". Home meant Ohio, closer to family and friends. Home did not come with a job for myself or Wes; it meant moving to Ohio and settling in and not knowing the future. And recently I've begun to worry. There's the bank balance; the law practice Wes is starting veeerrrrryyyyy slowly. The no income and daily outgo and not finding a church home and wanting to connect. And questions - what if's. Coulda/woulda/shoulda -- nothing can change the past.

Last week in the midst of the coughing and sleeping and reading and talking to God I felt renewed. The past remains the same. The future is unclear. But there's peace. And faith...and trust. The God who could raise Jesus from the dead is the same God who cares about me. Maybe he put me on the couch, maybe it was just a bug....but He is the One who can handle my needs he has not forgotten that I'm out here---he hasn't and he couldn't. That's peace.

Trust

"Jack, you're hurting me."

"Trust me, I'm not."

Trust, it would seem, is a matter of perspective.